Spiritual Journal: Recommitment

This is an entry for my spiritual journal from almost seven years ago. I thought that perhaps some of the thoughts expressed within might resonate with our Living Room family:

Dearest Abba,

You have held my hand throughout my first business trip to New York City. I’ve counted fifty new experiences and You have been with me through them all. You protected me and gave me courage.
Thank You so much!

Lord, You know all of the changes that have been happening in my mind and in my life in the past several years. You knew that these things would come about at this time in my life. I perceive that I am blossoming as a person in many ways. Yet, I know that, at the same time, some of these changes have brought about deep struggles with sinful desires that seem to gratify myself alone. Even though I’m changing, I am still a child of God who struggles with sin. You know all the sinful tendencies in my life. I confess them to You and plead for forgiveness through Christ. I know that nothing I do in myself can earn me any favor with You. It is Christ’s sacrifice for my sin that pays for my forgiveness. Thank you for Your incredible grace and mercy to me!

You have been so patient with me through all of my intense struggles, especially those of the past six months. Abba, I know that You are to be my First Love. You are to be the center of my life, my one and only God. I come to You asking that You would help that to be true of my life from now on. You know the deep needs and emotions that I struggle with. Your love and care for me is deeper than anything that I can imagine. Please help me to understand more of Your love for me. Open my heart and my mind to You. Human relationships will always have an element of disappoint for me because, at best, they are only a faulty reflection of who You are. I am Your child. I live for Your glory. You desire a relationship with me that will last for eternity.

Lord, I understand that the decisions I make on a moment-by-moment basis each day matter to You. I have been making some unwise, sinful decisions designed to gratify my own desires and not Yours. Please help me to make wiser, spiritually stronger decisions to live a more holy life before You. Please give me strength, even when I perceive the decision to be very hard for me.

Abba, I recommit my life to You. You are my Father, my Savior, my Bridegroom, my Friend. You alone are holy. I acknowledge that even though other desires are very strong, they are not what You want for me. Please help me not to distort the good gifts you have given to me. Please give me insight and perception to be able to know what I must do to live for Your glory. Then, please give me the strength to act in a godly way. Please open my mind and my heart as I reflect on the changes taking place in my life. Keep me on the path that glorifies You. Thank you that You hear me and that You care so deeply. I love you, Lord. I bless you, Lord, both now and forever.
Amen.